{"id":7158,"date":"2016-09-20T01:47:53","date_gmt":"2016-09-19T13:47:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spence-chapin.org\/blog-general-post-adoption-depression-the-elusive-happily-ever-after\/"},"modified":"2020-01-08T07:23:10","modified_gmt":"2020-01-07T19:23:10","slug":"depresion-post-adopcion-el-esquivo-felices-para-siempre","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spence-chapin.org\/es\/post-adoption-depression-the-elusive-happily-ever-after\/","title":{"rendered":"Depresi\u00f3n posadopci\u00f3n: el esquivo \u201cfelices para siempre\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u00bfCu\u00e1les son los signos de la depresi\u00f3n posterior a la adopci\u00f3n y qu\u00e9 puede hacer usted para sentirse mejor?<br \/>\nDespu\u00e9s de todo lo que hemos pasado para adoptar a nuestro hijo, esperamos felicidad. \u00a1Merecemos la felicidad!  Y a veces obtenemos dicha. Pero a veces, en lugar de ese sentimiento euf\u00f3rico de logro y amor, nos sentimos decepcionados, agotados, desprevenidos y tristes.<\/p>\n<p>A decir verdad, estos son sentimientos comunes de todos los nuevos padres, independientemente de c\u00f3mo sus hijos se unan a su familia, pero pueden empeorar por el estr\u00e9s de la adopci\u00f3n y la verg\u00fcenza que sentimos.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Depresi\u00f3n post-adopci\u00f3n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>En nuestra sociedad se habla a menudo de la depresi\u00f3n posparto o la tristeza posparto (gracias Brooke Shields), y las nuevas madres que luchan por ello reciben simpat\u00eda y apoyo. No es as\u00ed con la depresi\u00f3n post-adopci\u00f3n o la tristeza post-adopci\u00f3n. La verg\u00fcenza y la falta general de comprensi\u00f3n de nuestra sociedad obstaculizan el apoyo y la aceptaci\u00f3n.<\/p>\n<p>La mayor\u00eda de las madres adoptivas con las que hablo se sienten confundidas y culpables cuando se sienten tristes e irritables despu\u00e9s de que finalmente llega su hijo tan esperado, y las palabras clave son <em>tan esperado<\/em>. Este es el ni\u00f1o por el que hemos trabajado a\u00f1os para conseguirlo. Este es el ni\u00f1o en el que probablemente hemos gastado una gran parte de nuestros ahorros. Este es un ni\u00f1o que hemos sido estudiados y cuestionados por Dios sabe cu\u00e1ntos expertos conseguir. Ahora que finalmente la tenemos, deber\u00edamos estar muy contentos. \u00bfBien? Si en lugar de sentirnos euf\u00f3ricos, nos sentimos deprimidos, enojados y no enamorados, entonces debe haber algo mal en nosotros. \u00bfBien?<\/p>\n<p>La verg\u00fcenza que sienten muchos padres dificulta la obtenci\u00f3n de ayuda y apoyo. \u00bfEn qui\u00e9n pueden confiar este \u201cpeque\u00f1o secreto sucio\u201d? Tienen miedo de dec\u00edrselo a su trabajador social de adopci\u00f3n por temor a que de alguna manera les quiten a su hijo o no puedan volver a adoptarlo. Tienen miedo de cont\u00e1rselo a sus familiares y amigos por temor a que no lo entiendan y parezcan desagradecidos. Esta soledad empeora la depresi\u00f3n.<\/p>\n<p>Es \u00fatil saber que la depresi\u00f3n posadopci\u00f3n es com\u00fan. En un programa de radio Creando una Familia en&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/creatingafamily.org\/adoption-category\/post-adoption-depression-causes-and-prevention\/\">Depresi\u00f3n posadopci\u00f3n: causas y prevenci\u00f3n<\/a>, Dra. Jane Aronson, especialista en medicina de adopci\u00f3n y fundadora y directora ejecutiva de&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/wwo.org\">Fundaci\u00f3n mundial de hu\u00e9rfanos<\/a>, dijo que casi todos sus pacientes sienten emociones conflictivas durante los primeros meses despu\u00e9s de adoptar, y alrededor de 75-85% informan sentirse tristes o deprimidos.<\/p>\n<p>El Dr. Aronson cree que la depresi\u00f3n posterior a la adopci\u00f3n a menudo es causada por una falta de coincidencia entre las expectativas y la realidad. Y seamos realistas, la mayor\u00eda de nosotros hemos tenido muchos a\u00f1os para crear expectativas poco realistas.<\/p>\n<p>Los factores de riesgo incluyen adoptar un ni\u00f1o en edad escolar, ser padre mayor o soltero, estr\u00e9s (financiero, familiar, etc.) y dolor no resuelto por infertilidad. La mayor\u00eda de las veces, estos sentimientos se resuelven en aproximadamente seis meses, cuando la vida comienza a asentarse y a desarrollar patrones, y usted y su hijo comienzan a conocerse.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Qu\u00e9 hacer si cree que tiene depresi\u00f3n posadopci\u00f3n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Si despu\u00e9s de aproximadamente 6 meses, o si sus sentimientos de desesperaci\u00f3n o enojo son m\u00e1s que moderados, \u00a1busque ayuda!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Hable con su trabajador social. La gran mayor\u00eda de los trabajadores sociales saben que estos sentimientos son comunes y podr\u00e1n ofrecer apoyo sin juzgar.<\/li>\n<li>Busque un terapeuta con experiencia en depresi\u00f3n, es decir, cualquier buen terapeuta. No es necesario que se especialicen en la depresi\u00f3n provocada por la adopci\u00f3n. Sin embargo, si ha luchado contra la infertilidad, creo que es \u00fatil encontrar un terapeuta que comprenda las p\u00e9rdidas asociadas con la infertilidad. Aqu\u00ed est\u00e1n <a href=\"https:\/\/creatingafamily.org\/infertility\/resources\/coping-infertility-grief\/\">algunas sugerencias sobre c\u00f3mo encontrar uno.<\/a><\/li>\n<li>El Dr. Aronson considera que la mayor\u00eda de los m\u00e9dicos de familia son m\u00e1s que adecuados para tratar este tipo de depresi\u00f3n.<\/li>\n<li>Si su hijo tiene un pediatra especializado en adopci\u00f3n, comparta sus sentimientos con \u00e9l. Lo han o\u00eddo antes, lo prometo, y pueden ofrecer ayuda y apoyo. Incluso si su pediatra no es un especialista en adopci\u00f3n, probablemente podr\u00e1 ofrecerle apoyo y asesoramiento.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Lo m\u00e1s importante<\/strong>\u2013\u00a1\u00danase a un grupo de apoyo a la adopci\u00f3n! No puedo enfatizar lo suficiente lo reconfortante que es estar rodeado de personas que han estado all\u00ed, que han hecho eso y que tienen la camiseta que lo demuestra. El solo hecho de saber que no est\u00e1 solo le quita la presi\u00f3n y le da tiempo para comenzar la curaci\u00f3n. Si tiene la suerte de vivir cerca de un grupo de apoyo activo en persona, fant\u00e1stico. De lo contrario, o adem\u00e1s, \u00fanete a un grupo en l\u00ednea como el grupo de apoyo de Facebook para crear una familia. La disponibilidad inmediata de alguien con quien hablar las 24 horas del d\u00eda, los 7 d\u00edas de la semana no tiene precio. Lo creas o no, a veces es m\u00e1s f\u00e1cil abrirse a alguien que no conoces en la \u201cvida real\u201d.<\/li>\n<li>Escuche el programa Creando una Familia en <a href=\"http:\/\/What are the signs of post adoption depression and what can you do to help yourself feel better? After all we\u2019ve been through to adopt our child, we expect bliss. We deserve bliss! &nbsp;And sometimes we get bliss. But sometimes instead of that euphoric feeling of accomplishment and love, we feel let down, exhausted, unprepared, and sad. Truth be told, these are common feelings of all new parents regardless of how their kids join their family, but they can be worsened by the stress of adoption and the shame we feel. Post Adoption Depression Post partum depression or the baby blues is often talked about in our society (thank you Brooke Shields), and struggling new mothers are met with sympathy and support. Not so with post adoption depression or post adoption blues. Shame and our society\u2019s general lack of understanding get in the way of support and acceptance. Most adoptive mothers I talk with feel confused and guilty when they feel sad and irritable after their long awaited child finally arrives\u2013and the key words are long awaited. This is the child that we\u2019ve worked years to get. This is the child that we\u2019ve probably spent a huge chunk of our savings to get. This is a child that we\u2019ve been studied and questioned by heaven-knows how many experts to get. Now that we finally have her, we should be overjoyed. Right? If instead of feeling euphoric, we feel depressed, angry, and not besotted with love, then there must be something wrong with us. Right? The shame that many parents feel makes it hard to get help and support. Who can they trust with this \u201cdirty little secret\u201d. They are afraid to tell their adoption social worker for fear that somehow their child will be taken away or they won\u2019t be able to adopt again. They are afraid to tell their family and friends for fear that they won\u2019t understand and that they will look ungrateful. This aloneness makes the depression worse. It helps to know that Post Adoption Depression is common. On a&nbsp;Creating a Family Radio show on&nbsp;Post Adoption Depression: Causes and Prevention,&nbsp;Dr. Jane Aronson, adoption medicine specialist and founder and Chief Executive of the&nbsp;Worldwide Orphan Foundation, said that&nbsp;almost all of her patients feel conflicted emotions the first couple of months after they adopt, and about 75-85% report feeling sad or depressed. Dr. Aronson thinks that post adoption depression is often caused by a mismatch of expectations with reality. And let\u2019s face it, most of us have had a lot of years to build up unrealistic expectations. Risk factors include adopting a school aged child, being an older or single parent, stress (financial, familial, etc.), and unresolved grief from infertility. Most of the time these feeling resolve within about six months when life begins to settle in and develop patterns, and you and your child begin to know each other. What to Do If You Think You Have Post Adoption Depression If after about 6 months or so, or if your feelings of despair or anger are more than moderate, get help! \u2022 Talk with your social worker. The vast majority of social workers know that these feelings are common and will be able to offer support without judgement. \u2022 Find a therapist with experience in depression\u2013meaning any good therapist. They don\u2019t have to specialize in depression caused by adoption. If you\u2019ve struggled with infertility, however, I do think it\u2019s helpful to find a therapist who understands the losses associated with infertility. Here are some suggestions on how to find one. \u2022 Dr. Aronson feels that most family doctors are more than adequate to treat this type of depression. \u2022 If your child has a pediatrician that specializes in adoption, share your feelings with her\/him. They\u2019ve heard it before, I promise, and they can offer help and support. Even if your pediatrician isn\u2019t an adoption specialist, she will likely be able to offer you support and advice. \u2022 Most important\u2013join an adoption support group! I can\u2019t stress enough how soothing it is to be surrounded by people who have been there, done that, and have the t-shirt to prove it. Just knowing you\u2019re not alone takes the pressure off and allows time to start the healing. If you are fortunate to live near an active in-person support group, fantastic. If not, or in addition, join an online group such as the Creating a Family Facebook Support Group. The ready&nbsp;availability&nbsp;of someone to talk to 24\/7 is priceless. Believe it or not, sometimes it\u2019s easier to open up to someone you don\u2019t know in \u201creal life\u201d. \u2022 Listen to a Creating a Family show on Post Adoption Depression. Dr. Aronson offers a kind and honest approach to parenting. She suffered from post adoption depression after her second adoption and she talks frankly about it in our interview. Take Good Care of Yourself I know you\u2019ve heard it before, but you really must take care of yourself those first months home.&nbsp; Eat, sleep, and exercise are obvious, but equally important in my book is making sure you have some time to yourself, even just a little, to do something you enjoy. It might be going for a walk, window shopping for an hour at the mall, or grabbing a cup of tea with a friend, but try your best to have something to look forward to every week. Did you have a rough transition post adoption? Would you have called it post adoption depression? What did you&nbsp;do that helped? Think you may be suffering from post-adoption depression? Call us today for a free phone call with a social worker (646-539-2167)! This content was originally published by Creating a Family, the national adoption &amp; infertility education nonprofit. https:\/\/creatingafamily.org\/adoption-category\/post-adoption-depression\/\"><u>Depresi\u00f3n post-adopci\u00f3n<\/u><\/a>. El Dr. Aronson ofrece un enfoque amable y honesto sobre la crianza de los hijos. Sufri\u00f3 depresi\u00f3n post adopci\u00f3n despu\u00e9s de su segunda adopci\u00f3n y habla con franqueza de ello en nuestra entrevista.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Cuidate<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>S\u00e9 que lo has o\u00eddo antes, pero realmente debes cuidarte esos primeros meses en casa. Comer, dormir y hacer ejercicio son obvios, pero en mi libro es igualmente importante asegurarse de tener algo de tiempo para usted, aunque sea un poco, para hacer algo que disfrute. Puede ser salir a caminar, mirar escaparates durante una hora en el centro comercial o tomar una taza de t\u00e9 con un amigo, pero haz lo mejor que puedas para tener algo que esperar cada semana.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00bfTuviste una transici\u00f3n dif\u00edcil despu\u00e9s de la adopci\u00f3n? \u00bfLo habr\u00edas llamado depresi\u00f3n post adopci\u00f3n? \u00bfQu\u00e9 hiciste que te ayud\u00f3?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u00bfCrees que puedes estar sufriendo de depresi\u00f3n post-adopci\u00f3n? \u00a1Ll\u00e1menos hoy para una llamada telef\u00f3nica gratuita con un trabajador social (646-539-2167)!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Este contenido fue publicado originalmente por Creando una Familia, la organizaci\u00f3n nacional sin fines de lucro sobre adopci\u00f3n y educaci\u00f3n sobre infertilidad. <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/creatingafamily.org\/adoption-category\/post-adoption-depression\/\"><em>https:\/\/creatingafamily.org\/adoption-category\/post-adoption-depression\/<\/em><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What are the signs of post adoption depression and what can you do to help yourself feel better? After all we\u2019ve been through to adopt our child, we expect bliss. We deserve bliss! &nbsp;And sometimes we get bliss. But sometimes instead of that euphoric feeling of accomplishment and love, we feel let down, exhausted, unprepared, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"give_campaign_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[44,45],"tags":[3651,98,184,91],"class_list":["post-7158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-adoption","category-post-adoption","tag-post-adioption","tag-post-adoption","tag-post-adoption-services","tag-spence-chapin"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Post Adoption Depression: The Elusive &quot;Happily Ever After&quot; - Spence-Chapin<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/spence-chapin.org\/es\/depresion-post-adopcion-el-esquivo-felices-para-siempre\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_MX\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Post Adoption Depression: The Elusive &quot;Happily Ever After&quot; - Spence-Chapin\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What are the signs of post adoption depression and what can you do to help yourself feel better? 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