{"id":7011,"date":"2019-01-31T08:24:40","date_gmt":"2019-01-30T20:24:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spence-chapin.org\/blog-category-should-you-do-a-birthland-trip\/"},"modified":"2020-01-04T08:56:48","modified_gmt":"2020-01-03T20:56:48","slug":"should-you-do-a-birthland-trip","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spence-chapin.org\/yue\/should-you-do-a-birthland-trip\/","title":{"rendered":"Should You Do a Birthland Trip?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A birthland trip is a trip made to an adoptee\u2019s country of birth. A birthland trip can be made at any time in an adoptee\u2019s life, and can be done alone, with family, or in a group. Individuals and families go on these trips for many reasons, but primarily, they serve as a way to connect an adoptee to his\/her birth culture, and in so doing, engage more deeply with a part of his\/her identity and past.<\/p>\n

We spoke with Beth Friedberg, a therapist at Spence-Chapin with over 20 years of experience working with children and families, to provide some more context and advice on birthland trips.<\/p>\n

Thinking about a birthland trip?<\/h3>\n

If you are considering a birthland trip, we invite you to email us<\/a> to speak with one of our counselors beforehand, who can answer any questions or concerns you may have. Read about one family\u2019s birthland trip experience \u5462\u5ea6<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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\u201cPeople go on birthland trips for a lot of different reasons, at different ages and stages in their lives,\u201d Beth explained. \u201cThe birthland trip is a different kind of connecting to the adoption story\u2014it\u2019s more tangible.\u201d<\/h3>\n

How do you know it\u2019s the right time for a birthland trip?<\/h3>\n

\u201cSometimes the birthland trip is initiated by the parents because they want very much for help their children make connections to their birth culture, foster families, or birth families,\u201d Beth said. \u201cSometimes it\u2019s propelled by the kids, who have a lot of curiosity and questions about their beginnings, and they\u2019re asking. Usually, it\u2019s somewhere in between.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn our coaching at Spence-Chapin, we try to help families realize that they will never be 100% confident with their decisions\u2014that there will always be a certain amount of worry, fear, and concerns about how it may go. We work with families to help them decide how much concern they are willing to handle.\u201d<\/p>\n

In thinking about the right time, Beth advises it\u2019s important to consider what other changes are occurring in the family system in that year. If the family has just moved, the kids have recently changed schools, or something else has happened that might make it more difficult to unpack some of the issues that can come up in a birthland trip, it might be best to wait until the next year.<\/p>\n

Beth notes that while some children initiate the idea of a birthland trip through their curiosity and questions, others may not be interested in going at first, perhaps because of fear, or just indifference. In those cases, she suggests that parents find something that already excites their child and build on that in order to engage them in the in the prospect of a birthland trip.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf your child loves music or pop culture, expose them to popular songs or soap operas from their birth culture. If they like cooking, or food, or history, you can share those aspects of their birth culture with them. Tap into what already has meaning for your child and build their interest and curiosity on that.\u201d<\/p>\n

How do you prepare for the emotional impact of a birthland trip?<\/h3>\n

\u201cAt Spence-Chapin, we provide coaching to prepare\u201d Beth explained. \u201cOne of the main things we do in coaching for a birthland trip is to step back as a way to move into the future and explore identity. We help families go back and review the adoption process and history\u2014to go through those photos, videos, and stories\u2014and see how your child reacts, to gauge what he or she might be ready for.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s also important for the parents to spend time thinking about that it will be like for them to go back, and thinking through what their child might ask, and working through that with the coaching before the trip, so no one is caught off guard during the trip when it might be more challenging to handle surprises.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere the real learning happens, where the family\u2019s relationship becomes closer, is in the times that may be difficult, and working through that together. That is the way relationships grow stronger\u2014when we show up for each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014<\/p>\n

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