For prospective adoptive parents, the term “open adoption” may sound intimidating or confusing. What does an open adoption look like? How does it work? Is it really in the best interest of the child? To make open adoption more understood, we’ve compiled this list of Myths and Facts to help guide you through your adoption journey!
1.Myth: Not many people have an open adoption
FACT: Today, the vast majority of adoptions are open. In a study conducted by the 埃文 · 唐納森收養研究所, ，喺一項調查中，只有5 % 嘅受訪者表示佢哋有封閉式收養。當然，收養嘅開放類型因家庭而異，可以係罕見嘅，亦可以係持續嘅，亦可以係信件、電話、親身會面嘅形式 —— 同埋介乎兩者之間嘅好多。.
2. Myth: The relationships between adoptive parents and birth parents deteriorate in time.
FACT: The relationships between adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees changes over time, and tend to ebb and flow. As long as all parties remain committed to communication and are flexible, the relationships formed are life-long and rewarding.
3. Myth: Open adoption is a form of co-parenting.
FACT: In open adoption, the adoptive parents are the sole custodians and are the ones in control of their child’s welfare. The birth parents may play an active role in the child’s life, but the legal rights remain in the hands of the adoptive parents.
4. Myth: Open adoption is confusing to children.
FACT: Children are not confused by having contact with their birth family. Even at an early age, children can understand different roles and responsibilities. Further, while all members in an open adoption are shown to benefit from the relationship, it is adoptees that benefit the most over time. Some of the benefits to adoptees include coming to terms early on with the reasons for their adoption, access to information that aids in identity formation, knowledge about their own medical histories, and a better understanding of the meaning of adoption.
5. Myth: Having contact with the birth family will be an intrusion on my family.
FACT: Surveys show that families who choose to remain in contact with the birth family report higher levels of satisfaction with their adoptions. According to the 明尼蘇達州/德州領養研究計劃, ，開放式收養嘅養父母報告話，佢哋同子女嘅關係有更強嘅永久感，正如預期嘅未來，同埋對生父母同子女嘅同理心比封閉式收養嘅養父母多。.
6. Myth: Being able to communicate with and see the child will be too painful for the birth parents.
FACT: Birth parents in open adoptions with ongoing contact report less grief, regret, and worry, as well as more peace of mind, than those who do not have contact, according to the 埃文 · 唐納森收養研究所.
7. Myth: There will be no boundaries. The birth parents will drop in whenever they want to see the child.
FACT: Through open communication, both parties should have a mutual understanding where those boundaries are. The way the open adoption looks is determined before placement, between the adoptive parents and birth parents (and the adoptee depending on his/her age), and is based on what is comfortable and practical for all involved. Birth parents and adoptive parents should both receive proper training and counseling on open adoption before making an open adoption agreement, to ensure that all parties have thought clearly and reflexively about what they want the relationship to look like. It is also important to work with a counselor or social worker to help craft the open adoption contract or agreement, and to have access to post-adoption services to work through any challenges or issues that may arise over time in that relationship.
Spence-Chapin encourages open adoption, which is why we are happy to answer any further questions you may have. Spence-Chapin offers individual and family counseling, open adoption support and guidance, and facilitates reunion meetings. Call us and let us know how we can support you and your family – 646-539-2167. We encourage to read this beautiful personal open adoption story.