Things Never to Say to a Birth Mom

Written and Shared with Permission by Terri Rimmer

Why don’t you have another one (baby) and keep it?
You just didn’t have the confidence to be a mom.
Can I take the baby?
Give me the baby.
I’ll raise the baby.
I have a relative who’ll take the baby.
You mean you don’t want it?
So, you just don’t want to keep it?
That’s really cold.
You’re a cold-hearted person.
So, you’re just going to give it up, just like that?
Why do you care if the baby’s okay? You’re not keeping it?
Why’d you name the baby? They’re just going to rename it anyway.
I’d try to get the baby back.
You can always change your mind back, right?
Why are you doing this?
Do you just not want kids?
Do you just not like kids?
You know you can sell your baby on the black market?
You can get on welfare.
You can afford it.
I’m not a fan of open adoptions.
It’s time to move on with your life.
You’ll think about your daughter one day maybe.
That’s a selfish decision.
You can make it.
I’ll give the baby a good home.
Are you going to have any more kids?
You love this child. You should have another one (you shouldn’t have placed her for adoption).
You should have faith in God and try to be a mom anyway.

To find out more contact us at

212-400-8150 or email us at [email protected].

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Waiting Children Profiles

Thank you for your interest in adopting through Spence-Chapin! We are able to share the profiles of children who are considered to be the most in need and are waiting internationally to be matched with an adoptive family. The children featured on this page have been waiting for the longest to find families and consist of children who are older, part of a sibling group, or children with a diagnosed medical condition. In order to respect the privacy of these children, this page has been password protected.

Spence-Chapin takes the privacy rights of the children that we are seeking to place very seriously, and share the profile with you under the following conditions:

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF PASSWORD ACCESS
That you acknowledge and understand that

1. Misuse of the content, and/or linking to any sites that reflect practices that involve the sale, abduction, exploitation, or trafficking of children is strictly prohibited.

2. You have been given limited access to confidential information in the form of images that you will not disclose to any person or in any manner that is inconsistent with applicable policies and procedures of Spence-Chapin Services to Families and Children.

3. The confidentiality obligation shall continue indefinitely, including at all times after my association with Spence-Chapin Services to Families and Children.

4. You are not permitted to release, copy, distribute, or sell any of these images to third parties in any form.

5. Impermissible disclosure of the images may result in legal actions being taken against you, by or on behalf of that person.

6. You are doing this freely, voluntarily and with a full understanding of what you are agreeing to by entering/accessing this blog.

7. Thank you for your interest in providing a loving home for a waiting child! We look forward to connecting with you soon to continue discussing adoption paths at Spence-Chapin. We hope that you like us on Facebook, follow us on twitter, and keep up with our families through our adoption blog!

Warm regards,
The Adoption Team at Spence-Chapin

Phone: 212-400-8150
Email: [email protected]

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