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At Spence-Chapin, we advocate for open adoption, whenever possible, to foster meaningful connections that support both birth parents and adoptive families. We hope to be a resource to those looking to learn more about what open adoption is, and what it looks like in real life.
Open adoption gives birth parents the opportunity to stay in contact with an adoptive family.
The level of contact varies, from sharing letters and emails to phone calls, photos, or even in-person visits.
It’s important to understand that open adoption is not co-parenting but rather an opportunity for birth and adoptive families to form a relationship that will benefit the adopted child.
For birth parents: Open adoption offers peace of mind, allowing them to maintain a connection with their child and have ongoing insight into the child’s life and well-being.
For adoptive parents: This relationship often enhances satisfaction with the adoption process, giving families a broader support system.
For adoptees: Children in open adoptions tend to feel more secure, benefiting from understanding their full story and having connections with both sides of their family.
While research provides valuable insights into the benefits of open adoption, hearing directly from those who have lived through the experience often resonates on a deeper level. What are the real-life stories of families in open adoptions?
At Spence-Chapin, we’ve been privileged to hear from people like Noelle, a birth mother who shared her story of resilience, compassion, and the lifelong bond formed through open adoption.
These personal accounts provide a unique window into what open adoption truly means for all involved and demonstrate the potential for love and connection across families. Read more about Noelle’s story here.
Open adoption has proven benefits that extend across the entire adoption constellation—birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees. Research consistently supports the positive impact that openness in adoption can have on long-term emotional well-being, relationship satisfaction, and overall mental health.
A number of studies have shown that both adoptive and birth parents report higher levels of satisfaction when ongoing communication is maintained. This openness reduces uncertainty and helps all parties feel more secure in their roles. Birth parents, in particular, experience less worry and regret, and are able to process their grief more easily than those without ongoing contact.
Adolescent adoptees who had ongoing contact with their birth parents were more satisfied with their adoption than those without contact. These adoptees often feel a greater sense of identity and belonging, as open communication fosters emotional clarity and helps alleviate many of the unknowns that come with closed adoptions. This openness enables a healthier and more fulfilling adoption journey for everyone involved.
Today, the vast majority of adoptions are open. In a study conducted by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, only 5 percent of respondents in a survey said that they had a closed adoption. Of course, the type of openness in adoption varies among families, can be infrequent or ongoing, and can take the form of letters, phone calls, in-person meetings—and a lot in between.
Typically, children are not confused by having contact with their birth family. Even at an early age, children can understand different roles and responsibilities. Further, while all members in an open adoption are shown to benefit from the relationship, it is adoptees that benefit the most over time. Some of the benefits to adoptees include coming to terms early on with the reasons for their adoption, access to information that aids in identity formation, knowledge about their own medical histories, and a better understanding of the meaning of adoption.
The relationships between adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees change over time, and tend to ebb and flow. As long as all parties remain committed to communication and are flexible, the relationships formed are life-long and rewarding.
Surveys show that families who choose to remain in contact with the birth family report higher levels of satisfaction with their adoptions. According to the Minnesota/Texas Adoption Research Project, adoptive parents in open adoptions report a stronger sense of permanence in the relationship with their child as projected into the future, and more empathy toward the birthparents and child than those in closed adoptions.
Of course, adoption as a whole can be painful for all involved. But birth parents in open adoptions with ongoing contact report less grief, regret, and worry, as well as more peace of mind, than those who do not have contact.
Through open communication, both parties should have a mutual understanding where those boundaries are. The way the open adoption looks is determined before placement, between the adoptive parents and birth parents (and the adoptee depending on his/her age), and is based on what is comfortable and practical for all involved. Birth parents and adoptive parents should both receive proper training and counseling on open adoption before making an open adoption agreement, to ensure that all parties have thought clearly and reflexively about what they want the relationship to look like. It is also important to work with a counselor or social worker to help craft the open adoption contract or agreement, and to have access to post-adoption services to work through any challenges or issues that may arise over time in that relationship.
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